Month One, Day Twenty-Two

So this is only my first attempt, and already I have learnt this about trying to conceive:

1. It's very easy to get obsessed with.

2. It's not like being obsessed with anything else because for most of the time, there's not much you can do except wait.

3. I cannot live life at this level of neurosis for very long, so am going to give up soon.

Anyway, I’ve decided that having a baby is a stupid idea. I am far too poor and far too irresponsible. Last week, I forgot to feed my Facebook puppy and it died. I was secretly happy about this. Feeding it was a goddamn palaver, and all I had to do was throw cartoon dog biscuits at it. There was nothing as complicated as lactation involved.

So it’s just as well, really, that I’m sure this month’s attempt has failed. When I can be trusted, I’ll try again.